Beach Story Continued...

So, when I finally got the courage to go into the ocean, my next decision to make was do I inch my way into the water until I'm waist deep or do I just jump into the water with full force? It was COOOOLD, therefore I chose option one. Sometimes when you make a decision in life, though, it doesn't really matter what you decide because nature is going to do what she wants anyway and doesn't care about your two options. What? Let me explain.

I was about knee-length in the water, trying to work my way out to where everyone was jumping the big waves, laughing, and having fun, but it was tricky to get out there. I learned that there's a particular section along the shallow part of the water that isn't the best place to be standing, and yet I was standing in it. Every time a large wave would come in, it would crash exactly where I was, and the undercurrent would drag me out a little farther. At times it was difficult for me to keep my balance. I was amazed at how strong the undercurrent was. Still I kept trying to go where everyone was wading. This one guy watched me as I slowly tried to work my way over there and would laugh everytime I almost lost my balance. I'll call him Annoying Guy.

All of a sudden, things quieted a bit. Only small waves would splash my knees, but something didn't feel right. I could sense the earth's energy under my feet and she didn't seem happy. It was the calm before the storm, I just knew it. I was tempted to go back to where my blanket and food were resting. Just as I was about to turn around and head over to the safety zone, it hit! I wasn't at all prepared. It had been quiet and even though I didn't trust it, I still didn't think it would attack me.

All of a sudden my hopes of gradually getting wet were stolen -- stolen by nature. I had no choice in the matter. When nature calls...it yells! And on this overcast day, nature was angry at me. Without warning, a tremen-gigan-ormous heap of water came crashing down on me! It knocked me down, tossed me back as if I were a shot of vodka, and dragged me deep under her belly of hatred. I had no time to fill my lungs with air before being consumed. Fear struck me as hard as the wave. I panicked. "Would this be my last breath?" As much as I wanted to, I couldn't hold the thought of death for long because I felt my leg grinding against the sand, my swimsuit top coming loose, and at one point rolling over a small child. A child? Who would let a child get this deep in such dangerous waters?

Then it stopped. Almost as quickly as it began, it ended. I heard a faint laughter from within the waters. I quickly gasped for air as I tried to recover from the 50 year wave. Slowly I began to orient myself. Laughter, still looming, became louder. No. No, it was real laughter. Annoying Guy was laughing at me...again! I opened my eyes, curious as to how far nature disposed of me. As my eyes focused, I saw that I was next to a little boy standing beside his father, holding his hand. This was the small child I rolled over. I felt the father's foot underneath me as I lay on top of it. I struggled to stand up, and realized I was in about a foot and a half deep water. That's it. My life threatening ordeal ocurred in one and a half feet of water! I immediately thought, "How embarrassing! Man, that salt water is burning my nose and throat. I wish that guy would quit laughing at me. Oh, thank goodness, my top is still on!"

"I'm...I'm sorry," I said to the toddler I rolled over and to the father who's foot I landed on.

How did that happen? I pondered how I could have gotten in such a life threatening situation in such shallow water. I decided it was because I was unaware of the strength of the sea and underestimated my own weakness. I should have known. I DID know, and yet I challenged nature. Those age old sayings "if it were a snake it would have bitten you," and "you knew what it was when you picked it up" keep flooding my mind. Regardless, I tried to slowly get wet that day, but nature had a different course for me -- she chose near death, total embarrassment, and option two.

These pictures were taken after nature's attack on me. In this picture I'm saying, "A cold front broke the back of the heat wave across the Northeast and another front is on the way by late Sunday."

However, in this one I'm quoting a movie, "All that moisture coming up from the Gulf is going to miss us completely and take a dump on Harrisburg." (hint: the blizzard dumps on Puxatony)

Lastly, in this picture I'm either trying to show as many teeth as I possibly can, or doing my skull impression.


Blogger Lauren said...

Ahhh! Hilarious. THIS is what I was waiting for.

Small child, that kills me. Yes, a toddler could stand in the waves, but not Lexia. I would've paid money to see your arms and legs flailing in a foot and a half of water.

August 05, 2006 3:44 PM  
Blogger Lexia said...

Oh, they were a-flailing. I tried to write this how I described it on the phone to you, but I couldn't remember all the details because it was a while ago.

By the way, I counted how many of my teeth on the top half of my mouth were actually showing: 6 on the left side, so 12 total. I only have 14 teeth on the top! If one more tooth on each side would have been showing, you would have seen EVERY SINGLE TOOTH I HAVE! That's weird to me.

August 05, 2006 4:44 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

"It [. . .] tossed me back as if I were a shot of vodka"? That was SOOO funny! I laughed out loud and read the whole thing to Summer.

I think the best stories are embarrassing ones. They are honest and therefore endearing. I imagine a lot of your blog readers of the male persuasion are falling in love with you at this very moment. :)

August 05, 2006 5:25 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

I can't figure out why you only have three comments on this post. It was one of your funniest so far.

Maybe people are just laughing so hard they can't type.

August 07, 2006 7:20 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

P.S. Groundhog Day

(Ha. Five comments.)

August 07, 2006 7:21 PM  
Blogger Nicole said...

That's it--laughing so hard, we can't type. I've loved these! I sometimes skip long posts because I don't want to waste time at work--but this was awesome and very entertaining! Did you ever have it out with Annoying Guy?

August 08, 2006 11:25 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Uh, how 'bout an update, missy. It's not like you're employed or anything.

(You know you love me.)

August 10, 2006 1:09 PM  

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