Oklahoma!

For some reason last night I was thinking about things I was grateful for. Perhaps because Sara, my sister, had a horrible break in and some surprisingly positive things came out of that experience (namely many friends of hers donated over $2,000 to her and her roommate to help them buy new laptops or whatever else was missing). I was so touched by the aftermath of her story - the friendships she's made and what they were willing to give to help her (as well as the type of person Sara is for fostering such strong friendships) - that it made me think how thankful I am. I've lived in New York City for almost nine years and haven't had a break in, or anything stolen from me. Yes, there was almost a restraining order at one point, but other than that, I've been safe and protected here and have been very very grateful for that. But this post isn't about my safety. As I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, I thought about other things I was thankful for. My parents of course. My brothers and sisters and the friends that we are to each other. I thought about my childhood and the love and support and comfort and confidence I've always felt. And for some reason I thought about Oklahoma, the state of my early childhood. I thought of the house on Orchard Street. Here's what I remember about it.

Snow Kids in front of the house on Orchard: Sara cut her eye by falling out of bed one night and landing on a broken piece of miniature doll furniture we left on the floor. The seventh child is actually our cousin "Shane."

• 301 South Orchard. 
• The sidewalk lined with red tulips in the spring. 
• The clothes line in the backyard. 
• That huge pile of sticks and twigs on the right side of the back yard - why was it there? 
• That exotic perfect tree to climb on in the middle of the back yard. 
• Mom's miniature purple and pink rose bush's. 
• The broken door that always got stuck going out from the garage to the back yard. 
• The pistachio green velveteen wrapped steamer trunk located in the loft above mom's "business." 
• Mom's business and all the machinery we played with: extremely hot plastic sealer, shipping tape dispenser with a rainbow of plastic buttons, bottles and bottles of scented oil. 
• Dad singing loudly to the Beach Boys and other oldies on Saturday Morning. 
• Cream of Wheat for breakfast during the school week made with love by dad. 
• Sneaking extra sugar onto my Cream of Wheat when dad wasn't looking. 
• Summer evenings catching fireflies. 
• Crunchy leaves. 
• Picking dried up bug shells off the dining room windows. 
• The sounds of locusts. 
• Bomber and Snowy and always being a little terrified of them. 
• Teal shutters. 
• Hanging red geraniums flanking either side of the front door. 
• Changing the Doorbells tune. 
• Big fat flickering Christmas lights along the roof line. 
• That light up snow man. 
• The prettiest mauve and pink Christmas tree anyone ever saw! 
• A constant cold draft in the sun room/television room. 
• Roller skating around the dining room table.
• The CELLAR! And all the moldy scent that came with it, the haunting churning air filter, below, and the rickety unstable wooden top that in no way would up if there were a tornado to tear our house down. 
• The sound of tornado sirens. 
• The grayness of the sky, the calmness of the wind, and the vibrancy of all things green before a tornado hits. 
• Shooting hoops and riding our bicycles in circles along the driveway. 
• Mom and Dad's bathroom - I always used their bathroom when I could - probably because I liked looking at mom's "car" artwork made out of an old watch. 
• Folding clothes in Summer and Cami's room. 
• Cami's old wooden four poster bed and Summer's white wooden bed with a temple above each. 
• Summer and Cami's closets - I always loved those! 
• Playing with Summer and Cami's dance costumes - especially when they were gone. 
• Brooks' and Blake's bunk bed. 
• The old school double desk, the wall of windows and playing Risk on the floor in the boys' room. 
• Blake's junk drawer.
• Brooks' school photos of his friends.
• The Celtics, Mets, and Yankees memorabilia in their bedroom.
• The fact that my older brothers let me play in their room was always appreciated.
• Sleeping on the floor in their room on Christmas Eve. 
• Cold, bumpy, cement walls. 
• The old white upright piano. 
• The "Lou" sign on the bathroom downstairs. 
• Mom's shelves and shelves of fabric and hiding in them while playing hide and seek. 
• Dressing Matilda. 
• Using the Serger to clean away the fuzzies and making sure it's oiled properly. 
• Having tea parties with Sara and our stuffed animals with our pink glass Eureka Springs tea set on a white table with four chairs lit by an old fashioned oil lamp topped with a pretty lace shade. 
• Getting trapped in our bedroom because Sara slammed our old door. 
• The toy trunk in front of our bedroom window with a built in secretary desk on one side and bookshelves on the other. 
• Porcelain dolls, barbie dolls, baby dolls, and lots of clothing for each. 
• The sound of dad's belts rattling on the closet door when mom was about to show you how upset she was with whatever it was you did. Ha! Ha! We can laugh about it now, right? 
• Dad using the wooden spoon to show us how upset he was with whatever it was we did. 
• That was always laughable...even as an eight year old. parquet floors in the entry way. 
• The heating unit or whatever fire hazard that was next to the bath. 
• Dad pulling out tooth after tooth over the years all while sitting on that toilet seat - how did he do it so we couldn't feel when he took it out? 
• The sauna of an attic next to the bathroom. 
• Playing the child size guitar in the hot hot attic. walking to school in the morning with Sara and dad. Mom's notes on my napkin in my lunch box. Walking home from school and reading my report card with all those S and S+. 
• Old Mr. Right's gray house with a pink cherry blossom tree in the front yard. Drew's house next door. 
• Chris and Greg. 
• Midnight in the front yard. 
• Big oak trees in the front yard with patchy grass. 
• Slugs and their shimmery trails. 
• And pouring salt on them to kill them. 
• Trying to obtain juice from the honeysuckle bush. 
• Kneeling under the table for the Thanksgiving prayer and always hoping dad would be done soon so we could eat. 
• Mom's pumpkin pie with home made whip cream. 
• Getting a new dress for Easter Sunday. 
• Green milk on St. Patrick's Day. 
• Westwood and it's open hallways. 
• Walking along the highway to get to the grocery store and fill a bag with caramels and other wrapped candies (to be paid by weight of course). 
• Braum's hot fudge Sundays. 
• Walking around the neighborhood with dad on Halloween and gathering as much candy as possible from all of those college frat houses. 
• Walking downtown to look at the decorated floats for home coming. 
• The church bells I could hear from my room. 
• Theta pond and feeding the ducks. 
• Dad's office. 
• Eskimo Joe's t-shirts
• Playing pool at the Institute building. Going to church on Sundays. 
• That wood sided Volkswagen with the folding seat in the back. 
• The library filled with books and mom's best victorian floral furniture. 
• The library door that opened half way - perfect to use for our bank teller game. 
• Playing school with Sara. 
• Playing recorders with Sara. 
• Filming with Sara. 
• Creating art with Sara by using the Make and Do books. 
• Making home made play dough - it was never as good as the real thing. 
• Hiding in the upstairs closet and turning it into another bedroom. 
• Playing with mom's wedding veil. 
• Looking through mom's jewelry box. 
• Occasionally walking over to the Admiral house and remembering what life was like living there. 
• I had the best childhood. 
• And I'm thankful for that. 
• Who knew Oklahoma could be so...OK!

Here's what the house looks like today.

Laundry Day

This is what my husband looked like two days ago. There are so many things wrong with his outfit so how is it that I love it as much as I do? I wouldn't change a thing.


Maybe you should be Ad Rock from the Beastie Boys for Halloween?

Our New Home!

well, at least in my dreams this is our new Brooklyn Heights home. How does one come by 13.5 million dollars in a day without stealing so as to purchase a home? I am so in love with this house that I can't even begin to tell you how badly I want to own it or something identical to it in New York City. Forget about high rise buildings on Park Avenue; I want a 7,000 square foot, 7 bedrooms, 6 baths, multiple terraces and balconies out back, the Brooklyn promenade behind me along with picture perfect harbor views of the Manhattan Skyline! Who wants to live in a town house in Manhattan when the monthly mortgage of this place is only $57,743, am I right? You know what - I don't even need to own this place - I will gladly cook Thanksgiving dinners and clean the marble bathrooms of this house for whomever is the lucky person to buy it!





















It really is the pivotal town house for me: the fact that it has a backyard, harbor views of the Manhattan skyline, a kitchen with marble counter tops and white cupboards, beautiful crown moldings, five fireplaces, excellent neighborhood, the list goes on and on. AND even Adam, my husband likes it. We don't always see eye to eye in terms of architecture. He's more modern, minimalist, clean lines, big open spaces and I'm more traditional, admire antiques, wainscoting, and charm. But this is it for us. We found our home at 212 Columbia Heights, we just need to find the money to make it OURS!


To learn more about this town house for sale and to see full size images, go to the listing site at Corcoran, but hurry while it's still available!

Lobster Red

Dear long time blog reader Lauren,

In response to my former post entitled, "Lobster, Lobster, Everywhere" you asked about shades of red that are similar to the orange red shade of a cooked lobster that I so dearly love. Considering that I just wrote that post a few days ago, I didn't have time to get to a store and view actual paint swatches (which I'm still considering doing tomorrow); but I wanted to do much better than simply give you a hexadecimal color. So after doing a little research online, I found some interesting shades for you to possibly consider in terms of repainting a dresser for your sons nursery. WARNING! I have not actually seen these colors in person so I cannot vouch for their vividness, orangey-ness, or lack there of in each. You will have to check them out in person to decide if they're the right shade of lobster red. On that note, here they are:

Probably your cheapest option would be to use Rust-oleum spray paint. I found this spray painted outside light fixture on CreateLoveGrow in Rust-oleum Apple Red which I think improved the look and value of the light fixture one hundred fold!


Here is another Rustoleum success story found on CraftBite. I'm unsure if it's the same shade of red as the previous light fixture; it looks as though there is a slightly more blue undertone in it; however, that could just be because of the type of bulb she has in it as well as the white balance of her camera.


If you would rather paint the old fashioned way with a bristle brush, your most expensive route would be by using Farrow and Ball. Granted, these might be a little less bright and bold than you would hope for. They tend to be more traditional or historic in color. Two shades of theirs to consider are

Incarnadine


or Blazer.


I like this Ralph Lauren Lattice Red paint color.


Benjamin Moore has some great shades of Red as well. They usually run about $40 a gallon - at least in New York they do.

Let's start with Benjamin Moore's Red. I found a great post on a before and after adirondack repainted chair at JPM Designs. Here's a look at the final chair. That's a wow red! Actually just Red according to Mr. Moore himself.


Bull's Eye Red


Salsa


Heritage Red


Redstone (I just had to put this photo up!)


Poppy (might be too pink)


If you want a more toned down red, try Benjamin Moore's Currant Red as found on the Life in Grace blog.


Your best solution is to go to Sherwin Williams, Janovic, Home Depot, or where ever your closest paint store is, grab a couple of swatches and BRING THEM BACK HOME to test the lighting against the swatch in your house first. Paint swatches always look different in those fancy lit stores. Better yet, if you have an object you love, take it with you to the paint store and match the color to it exactly. It could be your favorite yellow pencil, red scarf, or even a photo in a magazine. I have been known to do all three! Really, finding the right shade of red these days will be much easier than coming up with a name for that baby boy of yours!

Lobster, Lobster, Everywhere!

If you know me, you know I love Maine. If you really know me, you know I love Maine Lobstah! As you can see from a previous post of mine entitled Mare Nostrum by Nymphenburg, I have developed a small obsession for all things lobster related. Much of it stems from the fond memories I have of visiting my in-laws in Maine and the times I've spent with my husband who is from there. However, much of it stems from that wonderful orange red hue that can only be found in freshly steamed Maine lobster. There's no other color like it in my book - especially for the summer months. But the great thing about this color is that it can easily transition into the winter months so seamlessly. Not very many colors have that year round staying power and yet this is one that can be fresh and light for the summer yet provide warmth in the long, cold, winter months. It can be used scarcely to add pops of color on a shelf, in a painting, or in a pillow as I have done in my apartment.


Unfortunately when I purchased this lobster pillow made of wool, there was no company name or tag listed anywhere on it (or even inside the zipper - trust me, I checked as thoroughly as an OB-GYN would). I bought it in a small gift shop in Ogunquit, Maine, just before you start walking on the Marginal Way trail if that helps you find it should you too want a lobster pillow.


This lobster napkin is another purchase of mine that as soon as I saw it in the Nantucket Whaling Museum, I knew I had to have at least ten of them. Well, maybe only one since they cost $18 individually...gulp. They're made by Statements Table Linens and distributed by C & W Imports. They are the hand towels with a single stitched lobster on each one. The packaging states it comes with two pieces; however, mine only came with one. It only takes one, though, to put in a little silver frame - which I plan on doing in the future.

This lobster red shade is so wonderful and universal that it can even encompass an entire sofa or chair as in the one I've longed to own for about eight years now, Anthropologie's Astrid Chair in Naive Tropical. But seriously, who hasn't had a crush on this chair by now? It's like the Johnny Depp of chairs.


Come on, how can you not love that face...I mean chair. Notice I even found a photo of him with a red background? Not coincidental.

Alls I'm sayin' about lobsters and design is that inspiration can be found anywhere and if you're trying to figure out what colors to use in your home, think about the color of the things your drawn too, whether it's the food on your plate, the plate your food is on, or Johnny Depp's soft, wavy, chocolate brown hair. I know the following photo is redundant, but it would have been criminal to leave it out. I simply don't want to get in trouble with the law. Heh, heh.

Me and Marriage

I was replying to my sister's blog post about men putting off marriage and it became so long that I decided to make it a blog post.

Here's her post entitled Men and Marriage.

As a rare case of a female who didn't want to marry, I feel I understand the male perspective to a degree in this case. For me, I wanted to do the things I wanted to do (before I got married), which over the course of the years meant getting a graduate degree and moving to a place I wanted to live (New York City). It meant having the fun I wanted to have while I was young and single. Yes, there was also fear involved of what I thought marriage meant (being with someone not as cool as me forever - Ha! Ha!), but honestly it was driven more by a fear of things changing in a way that I didn't think I would like - that would make me have to make "sacrifices" or basically making me be less selfish and I simply didn't want to not think about myself.

In hindsight, that's an honest look at my motivations in not wanting to marry. I mean I was a nice friendly person, but I just had these hangups about marriage. I didn't think I could love someone as much as I needed to, and in a way that was true because all I ever had to think about before was myself - I didn't rely on anyone else (besides my parents and siblings) for things and didn't think I needed to rely on anyone else for my own happiness. For so long I was happy as a clam and I felt fine. Why change a good thing? Marriage seemed to be harder than it was worth. It took me some time to figure out how much I, Lexia, could love another human and gasp, even need another human in my life (besides my family). What I've learned now is that you don't lose yourself being married. Settling down is a non-existant reality. It's actually more fun to have someone to share your days/nights with. Financially I'm in a better situation because of it (the opposite of what I thought would happen). I don't even apply my grad degree that much anymore - so the things that once seemed so important are no longer as vital to me now (and not because I'm married, but because our interests in life evolve over time).

I understand that it takes some men (and a few woman) time to figure this out and get to the point where they're actually capable of marrying and have a desire to do so. We're all on our own time line; however, I think that the prophet and leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are trying to help us come to those realization sooner rather than later by addressing it and helping us take an inward look at ourselves so that we can make the choices we need to make in order to have the most happiness in life. When we're honest with ourselves it can spare a lot of heartache and wasted time. They point this out in ourselves to help us get on with the more important things in our lives - the things we don't always see as important when we should. I know I don't always see the big picture and get caught up in the details of the daily grind of the now in life; but if you believe in a prophet and God, then who has a better idea of what the big picture looks like than that of the prophet and God.

Now, with that said, I also have my own theories about how we as a society are delaying marriage and extending our "youth" due to the nature of staying in school longer, graduate degrees becoming more common (because bachelor's degrees are now the norm), racking up debt and relying on parents for assistance later in life, marriage and children no longer being as important to society in many ways, health and life expectancy lasting longer thereby extending our youthful years from 20 to 30 and middle aged starting at 50 and 60, and a whole slew of other things not even mentioned. Sigh...regardless, we have to take inventory on why it is we do the things we do and consider whether or not our choices fall in line with where our priorities should be. And if for some reason they are not properly aligned, then we need to be daring enough to make them be so.

I'm not saying you can marry anyone and live a happy life and be fine so marry just to be married. No. But you have to be actively doing things to meet that person who can change your life for the better. You have to try to be open to things you think you may not like (not just physical appearances, but your expectations of people in general, of your definition of marriage, of your priorities shifting in life, etc.).

On that note, I would like to end by saying I'm so glad I was wrong about marriage and what I thought I needed in life. I have so much more joy now than I ever thought I could have in life and a huge part of that was admitting I was wrong in certain ways, trusting and having faith in the big picture ideas, and opening myself up to someone who is so loving, so generous, so funny, so short, so patient, so talented, so EVERYTHING that if I wasn't careful enough I might have missed it due to a different agenda. Adam is so important to me, so much so that I can't imagine life without him. He once said something along the lines of how he doesn't remember his life very well before me - almost like we've always known each other. It does feel like that now and it's a good feeling, a better feeling than I thought it would be...and not so scary after all.

The thing that keeps going through my mind while writing this is something else Adam said when we were considering getting married. We had an interesting engagement (if you can even call it that), but I won't get into the details of our dating history. I will say that I was the one with reservations about getting married. I was the one holding us back - not the lead boy as in classic 1980s movies. What he said was so jarring and simple and profound to me that it just made my mind stop. I was so impressed by his inspired words. He basically said that we would be blessed by the decision to marry. That he, Adam, and I, Lexia, together would BENEFIT from getting married. To me that meant our lives would improve, not fall back or behind or change in some way that would make me regret the decision. I would be better off married and so I am and I never would have thought that before. Anyway, I think that's exactly what the prophet is trying to say. That we will be blessed by marriage in ways we can't understand, in ways we can understand, and that we have to have a little faith (or a lot in my case) that things will work out when we're making the right choices, the good choices, the most scary of all choices. It's easy to do bad, it's hard to do good. And Adam is sooooo good. :) I love you honeyface. Without you I never would have discovered so many things about myself...not to mention I might have never found my favorite place on earth...that lodge in the Adirondacks!

02.10.2010

The best palindrome day in history...our wedding day! HOORAY!!!
Sort of more on our blog Adamandlexia.blogspot.com

Adam Vs. Jake Hoffman (of the Dustin Hoffman's)

Above is a photo of Jake Hoffman, son of the famous actor Dustin Hoffman, and my boyfriend Adam. For a brief moment in time, Jake Hoffman was a celebrity crush of mine after I saw him in the movie "Click" starring Adam Sandler.

Well, I have long since forgotten about Jakey-pooh until my sister-in-law, Jacki, texted me the other day. She said something along the lines of "I think a fall wedding would be great." I called her and said, "Jacki, what are you up to?" knowing full well that she was implying Adam and I should get married this fall. She said, "Girl, you're on to me." Jacki is one of those people that uses terms like "girl" and "sister" which I think is a funny side note.

Our conversation proceeded along the lines of something like this:
Me: Jacki, what are you talkin' about?
Jax: Well, have you ever seen that movie "Click" with Adam Sandler?
Me: Yeah, what about it?
Jax: Well, the actor that plays Adam Sandlers son, the grown up one, looks like your Adam.
Me: That's so funny, Jacki, because after I saw that movie, I looked up the actor who played that part because I thought he was really cute. He's Jake Hoffman, Dustin Hoffman's son.
Jax: How funny is that!
Me: And the Hoffman's are Jewish and Adam, while not Jewish (that he knows of), gets stopped on the streets in New York all the time by Orthodox Jews asking if he's Jewish. Ha! Ha!
Jax: Ha! Ha! Well, I think you should get married and you should have a fall wedding.

That was the gist of our conversation. I hung up and thought, Adam is handsome like Jake Hoffman. But the story doesn't end here.

You see, I told Adam what Jacki said and showed him a photo of Jake Hoffman. He kind of laughed and that was that. Well, on Saturday, Adam and I were walking around the Lower East Side and who should we see of all people walking their dog? That's right, Jakey Pooh! I spotted him and pointed him out to Adam and we walked closer so he could get a better look. That's all I was gonna do - no photo. I'm not a person who takes photos of celebrities. But after I JUST talked with Jacki and Adam about how they look similar I thought it would be great to show Jacki a photo of the twinkies. I will admit, I was very nervous to do so, but Adam helped me get the nerve up to do it. I'm so glad I did, 'cause hopefully Jacki is getting a good laugh right now. Unfortunately Adam had just shaved that morning 'cause he was getting ready for a party later that night where he had to dress like Tom Cruise in "Top Gun." That'll be another post soon. Here's the photo: