I'm Sorry Future Husband...

and my blog readers. I totally "let you down," "dropped the ball," "disappointed you," "forgot about you entirely," and whatever other phrase exists for expressing failure. I should have been more involved in this months Future Husband theme. I had high hopes and posts that didn't get posted.

In my defense, I spent most of my time this month consolidating my private loans, working two jobs, and going to Mexico. So, err... I would like to conclude my future husband month by saying, I hope my future husband and I can afford my 30 year loan so that I won't have to work two jobs until my kids go to college, and that we will go to Acapulco one day?!? No, that is definitely not how I want to end this month's future husband adventure.

I'm not sure how to end a month that's already over; except to say that I'm one month closer to meeting you. That's exciting. Every day that passes is one day closer to finding you. I hope that the reason we're not together yet is because of one or more of the following:

1. it's your fault - you don't have your act together and need to step it up and get ready for me
2. you're currently too young for me to date and I need to wait a few more years 'til you're old enough (I really hope that's not the case)
3. you haven't figured out that you like me
4. are trying to complete school, establish yourself at a job, or figure out your financial situation before you begin a serious relationship - I understand the whole "providing" argument (and that's noble), but aren't the stack of things to do next always piling up? Don't you want someone to help clean off that mess, to bake the best oatmeal chocolate chip cookies in the whole wide world when you have a late night of work to do, or to say "don't worry baby, everything will turn out alright" as the Beach Boys' girlfriends always declare?
5. you have a fear of commitment - who doesn't
6. you're currently in the wrong relationship - i.e. not with me :o)
7. it's my fault - for being in the wrong country, for not being emotionally prepared for such a task, for overlooking, or underlooking, or not looking at all.

I don't think there's really any fault to be had in all honesty, but sometimes I wonder if the timing would have been right if I were ready a little sooner - or he was/is. But, that's a big what if statement and one I don't want to waste my time thinking about. Alls I'm sayin' is, lets get our act together so that we can meet for caramels some time and then fall in love and get married and have lots of bambinos. Otay Panky?

Hasta la vista, future husband!

Marriage is a Miracle

I honestly believe when I get married it will be a miracle - for myriad reasons. One of those being that it's a miracle in progress that I even want to be married...finally. More importantly, though, the timing has to be just perfect. Perfect for us to meet face to face. Perfect for me to be in the right frame of mind. Perfect for him to be in the right frame of mind. Perfect in every particular: geographically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Not to mention we have to click in so many million other ways.

Sometimes I wonder if there is someone out there who I want to spend the rest of eternity with - and that's what will truly make marriage a miracle for me. I mean, eternity is a long time. For example, I could take a nap forever in the eternities and wake up and still have forever left - to do whatever - to take another forever nap. I feel a small amount of pressure about committing the rest of my time with someone else; however, my desire to form an intimate union greatly outways the fear of commitment. The thing that makes me not so terrified about choosing someone to be with eternally (or the worry of not liking the same person forever) is when I think of my sister, Sara. I definitely want to have her around in the eons to come. I couldn't imagine living forever without her in it. So if I want to know her forever then there's got to be some male equivalent walking around out there that I also want to know forever.

To me there are two forms of love. The kind where I say "I love you" and then the kind where I say "I marriage love you!" I love many people and have on a few occasions felt like I loved a boy; but never marriage loved a boy. I suppose once I realize I marriage love someone, then I won't be nervous about the lengthy time involved in eternity. After all, I could imagine Jimmy (of the New York Fallon's) and me together forever. Sigh...forever Fallon. Come on you guys, I haven't made one reference to Jimmy this whole entire month!!!

If Merriam-Webster is right in defining a miracle as "an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs," then it's going to take the intervention of God for me to find the right person - and I write that with a little humor in my voice and a lot of sincerity.

Things My Future Children's Father Will Do

I read an article on MSN.com entitled Book of the Dad: Thirty-five simple rules for surviving the toughest 18 years of your life. It basically lists 35 things you can do to be a good father (and indirectly husband). More specifically it briefly shares what and how to teach your kids the things they should know at various stages in their lives. Of course they didn't include everything, are skimming over a lot of material, and express a few things I disagree with a little. In general, though, I think it's a good start for men and women who don't know what to do with kids, are nervous about rearing their own children, don't know what to do as a parent, or are just looking for some suggestions on being a good parent (future parent in my case). I like to hear all the advice I can get on child development because I know it's an area where I need to improve greatly.

Reading this article made me curious to know what single men think about fatherhood/husbandhood. How much do you men think about having kids and a wife? Is it something most of you have wanted your entire life? Does it scare you to think about being a dad/husband? What additions would you include on the list? I hope you will give me your input and share any other insight you have on this subject. Women, please feel free to answer the same questions or pose your own. Go!

Three Attractive Features My Future Husband Will Have

1. An infectious SMILE where his whole face lights up. Luckily, this is true of most people when they show their pearly whites. I look at people's mouths when they talk, more than their eyes. This is partly because I'm deaf, but also because I like to watch the movement of the mouth more than eyes staring at me. I guess I'm saying I want a guy who not only has a nice smile, but who smiles a lot and is happy.

2. An interest in learning how things work. Whether that be the mechanics of a bicycle, neuroscience, modern roofing technologies such as solar shingles, starting a small business, or understanding the launching systems of compressed vs. gunpowder fireworks. I find this curiosity very attractive. I like people who like to learn how to do everything and have an interest in learning the process of making things work.

3. Consistently good conversations, as my sister Sara put it last night on the phone. I want someone who is as interested in hearing what I have to say as much as he is about hearing what he has to say. I don't want someone who always dominates the conversation; likewise I don't want to feel like I'm always doing the talking. It's funny because I feel like I've had some really great first dates where there was no struggle in conversation - it just fell into place; but then on the second date, it's like you can hear the crickets chirping or I can feel that I'm pulling the conversation along and afterwards am disappointed that the conversation didn't flow as smoothly as it had previously. I have some ideas why that might be, but as Sara says, I want the conversations with my future husbands to get progressively better. I want our second conversation to be as interesting as the first; and the only crickets I want to hear are the ones present for our first kiss!

So readers, what are some things you find attractive in/on the opposite sex?

Question:

I like the anticipation of something that's about to happen, especially when I'm not sure what the outcome will be. For example, not knowing who your future spouse will be. Sometimes, though, I would like to take a peek into the future and see who it is I will marry, or when it is I will marry. I know that takes all the fun out of it, but it also rids a lot of uncertainty.

So here's my question to the unmarried readers:
Would you prefer to see into the future who or when it is you will marry?

And to the married readers:
Would it have changed anything if you had known who or when you would marry?

O, Say Can You See...

My future husband?! It's that time of year again folks when my blog is dedicated to my future husband for the entire month of July! I'm sure Francis Scott Key appreciates the title of this post, but I had to tie in the fourth of July somehow with my future husband! So Happy Fourth! I suppose I should come up with some kind of Declaration of DEpendence for my future husband; perhaps a Unilateral Declaration of Dependence might be more appropriate - being that he hasn't met me yet. In any case, there will definitely be declarations of some sort this month. Mostly declarations of love!!! Look, people, I've already accepted my insanity - just go with it.

I haven't given much thought to this, the Second Annual Future Husband Month, so we'll see where it goes. I would ask, though, that you guys post as many comments as possible to get the dialogue rolling. Really, the most exciting part about July's celebration are the comments! If you feel at all inclined to write something, I urge you to do it. Don't hold back because I'm not gonna! Obviously. Let me know if there is anything in particular you would like me to address, stories you would like to hear, or just have some good ideas for posts. I'll do my best to make this entertaining for you.

So cheers! Here's to meeting our future spouses - or at least mine!